I sharpen the knife till the blade glistens with the sunlight. I can already see the damage it can do. This tiny thing that is used for so many things in the house. I believe it has an unsuspecting nature. I believe that it wishes to be used for good rather than bad; like when we cut vegetables with it, I believe it feels happy to fulfil its purpose, aiding the process of providing nutrition to things.
But, just think for a moment… what if I use it for something else? I can see it, you know. Let me help you see it too.
I see the doll that has been a companion for so many years that I don’t even remember when she came into my life; my best friend; my truest confidant. She has seen my ups and downs, been with me through them all. She lifted me up when I was in the depths of hell and brought me down when I got too arrogant for my own good. She’s been my totem, my connection to a world that builds and breaks, a world that’s of my own making.
This world has been broken apart now though. I stand on top of the cliff with the wreckage down below. How did I get here? I’m not sure I remember it all. I’m not sure I remember it correctly. With a ghostly pallor, I spot people I have loved in the rubble. Oh! There’s my father… I see my mother right at the end of a corner… And there’s that friend I lost touch with a long time ago… There’s that teacher who gave me the direction I needed when I was so lost… And the people I called my tribe lay down for the last time… Is that the man I loved so dearly? Oh! I wish I could have saved him from me. I wish I could have saved them all…
I am beyond help now and she can’t bring me back. The doll I called my truest companion has lost me. The connection that I once relied upon with all my life is no longer there. I can see her now. Shaken and torn. Discarded, she’s no use to anyone anymore. So why let her go on as well? Wouldn’t it be easier to just drive the knife through her, just like I did with everyone else?
Wouldn’t it be easier to just drive the knife through me instead?
…
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