I would never have had the strength to do it first. As unhappy as I was, as suicidal as I was, I still wouldn’t have taken the 1st step.
Hope is a powerful thing. And sometimes, it makes you hold on even though the best thing for you is to let go. It paints this illusion that things will get better, this is meant to be, you’re in the right place, you only need to try harder. But maybe that’s not how its supposed to be.
If I was strong enough, I would have seen how wrong things were for me; how misaligned I was. But I wasn’t. Thankfully, someone else was. And he decided, “enough was enough”.
As painful as everything after this has been, today I am grateful. I realise I would never have taken the steps that were needed. Maybe I am not brave enough. Maybe, I find it hard to let go.
But today, I see my potential; my true potential. Not the one fed to me by him, his parents, my parents or the society.
I see my journey, the things I have done and the things I need to do and I only feel gratitude. Sure the memories won’t leave, the feelings I felt will linger for God knows how long, but today, I see a way forward. I see myself beyond the labels put on me.
And how can I not be grateful for that?
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